You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
