Do you still have your period?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
