I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize