No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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