where am i from again
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
