Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't deserve a penis
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
