I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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