I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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