ya dads aren't the best wingmen
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
