I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
