no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
