Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
