you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
