My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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