i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
