Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just google imaged poop.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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