She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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