HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She's not a foreskin expert like you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
