My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
