Having a random hookup so left but love u
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
