Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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