you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
