Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
