Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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