Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
