Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need a burrito and a hug.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How drunk are you?
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