i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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