They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
