as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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