Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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