I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
