Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she looked like the before picture.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
