Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My dad just said "fuck circus"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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