I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
