I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
