I think my vagina is haunted
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
