Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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