It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
