a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
