the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up under a house in Key West
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
