Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
