I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
