Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
