Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Randomize
