My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize