i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He kissed a someone with a penis
Reggie can tackle my bush.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
