I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize