the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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