Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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