my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You have to summon your inner elephant
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
