you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
