operation have a gay friend backfired
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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