He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
