put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
