I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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