i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
