I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize