So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
