No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
