did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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