I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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