Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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