She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
