Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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