He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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