He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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