My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
