Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
