so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
