Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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