That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
