I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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